This is great! The ideas of authenticity and not worrying what others think about you make me think of humility. To me, humility in part means being comfortable with who I am without comparing myself to those around me.
I had the same "pinch-me" experience to your Gaylord Hotel when I was starting out in the corporate world. "What's a girl from rural Maine doing in a London taxi-cab on her way to manage a press conference?" Until I read your piece, I had believed that the corporate-me wasn't the authentic me--she was a persona I donned for decades. Now you have me rethinking. My authentic self is malleable and ever-evolving. Others may judge what is factual based on a moment in time, a version of me, that no longer exists. So why should I care about being "authentic?" <insert mind blown emoji here>
As a big fan of the blog The Last Psychiatrist, it’s hard for me not to tie the growth in the push for “authenticity” to the author’s perspective of narcissism in society. As a paradigm, a narcissist for him is someone who strongly identifies with their internal narrative instead of external reality (“I may have spanked my kid in anger, but that was an extenuating circumstance; I’m really a Good Dad.”) “Authenticity” then sounds a lot like the psychic defense that narcissists constantly use—there’s a perceived “authentic” self and then an actual self, but the individual doesn’t feel guilt for the wrongs or such pain in the shortcomings of the actual self because they retreat into the imaginary “authentic” self or narcissistic self-image. Ultimately the actually existing self is the only authentic self in every sense—you are what you do, not what you think you are. You can’t actually be inauthentic, whatever you do is the true you because you truly did it. You can only be such a thing as “inauthentic” in the modern popular paradigm where “your truth” exists only in imagination.
Interesting thought. I think the emphasis on lived reality being the only reality has some real merit. Your thoughts and intentions really only matter as far as they are actuated actions and words. Boiling it down to narcissism is probably true for some people, but I think most of us would admit to a self-identity that doesn't always come through. Same goes for our aspirations to be a better person. It seems to start as a thought before becoming something real.
The author of TLP thinks that narcissism is an all-pervasive psychic undercurrent of modern society that we’re all more or less infected with, but I like your perspective. It’s pretty universal in our culture at least to have a self-identity but it’s only a problem if it’s used to excuse bad behavior; it can of course be used to motivate good behavior as well.
This is great! The ideas of authenticity and not worrying what others think about you make me think of humility. To me, humility in part means being comfortable with who I am without comparing myself to those around me.
I had the same "pinch-me" experience to your Gaylord Hotel when I was starting out in the corporate world. "What's a girl from rural Maine doing in a London taxi-cab on her way to manage a press conference?" Until I read your piece, I had believed that the corporate-me wasn't the authentic me--she was a persona I donned for decades. Now you have me rethinking. My authentic self is malleable and ever-evolving. Others may judge what is factual based on a moment in time, a version of me, that no longer exists. So why should I care about being "authentic?" <insert mind blown emoji here>
As a big fan of the blog The Last Psychiatrist, it’s hard for me not to tie the growth in the push for “authenticity” to the author’s perspective of narcissism in society. As a paradigm, a narcissist for him is someone who strongly identifies with their internal narrative instead of external reality (“I may have spanked my kid in anger, but that was an extenuating circumstance; I’m really a Good Dad.”) “Authenticity” then sounds a lot like the psychic defense that narcissists constantly use—there’s a perceived “authentic” self and then an actual self, but the individual doesn’t feel guilt for the wrongs or such pain in the shortcomings of the actual self because they retreat into the imaginary “authentic” self or narcissistic self-image. Ultimately the actually existing self is the only authentic self in every sense—you are what you do, not what you think you are. You can’t actually be inauthentic, whatever you do is the true you because you truly did it. You can only be such a thing as “inauthentic” in the modern popular paradigm where “your truth” exists only in imagination.
Interesting thought. I think the emphasis on lived reality being the only reality has some real merit. Your thoughts and intentions really only matter as far as they are actuated actions and words. Boiling it down to narcissism is probably true for some people, but I think most of us would admit to a self-identity that doesn't always come through. Same goes for our aspirations to be a better person. It seems to start as a thought before becoming something real.
The author of TLP thinks that narcissism is an all-pervasive psychic undercurrent of modern society that we’re all more or less infected with, but I like your perspective. It’s pretty universal in our culture at least to have a self-identity but it’s only a problem if it’s used to excuse bad behavior; it can of course be used to motivate good behavior as well.